"Smile, life is good."

Ok.. I admit it I am mad... and you should never post mad... but here goes anyway... (clarification: I am not mad at the "Smile" person, I am mad that we deal with grief and pain so poorly)

Listen up world! Stop telling me how to feel!!! I don't need your opinion on how I should feel at a given time... I do not need your exhortation to smile... I did not ask for either.

Frankly I do not care if my being less that happy somehow drains an ounce of sunshine from your happy smiley day.

I have already stated that I have issues so please take a second to review them before exhorting me to feel better for your sake.

Seriously that is why I wrote I have issues I am tired of people thinking they have the right to impose their feeling preferences onto me.

The other day I was walking down the hallway where I work. I was really stressed because a video was not working right, I still didnt have a presentation done, and I didnt feel particularly worthy do stand in front of 300 students and tell them to love Jesus just like I do. I was worn out from a long day that was part of a long week that was part of a long month that is part of what is shaping up to be a long year.

Overdramatic? Probably so, but it is my life... and to me it was real...

So I am walking down the hall and someone looks over at me and says, "smile, life is good!"

I wonder if this statement made him feel better?

How does he know anything about my life? Its like, my being sad was somehow making his day less convienient or something?

Whatever... I think that really if he cared, he could have asked what was going on... or if I was ok... instead of commanding me to be happy... For all he knew my mom could have just died...

My POINT: if you are sad... be sad. Who cares what other people think... Sometimes people may have the authority and right to tell you how to behave... but they never have have the right to tell you how to feel.

Embrace your emotions... I think they are from God and make us who we are. Its not like he is offended with me if I am sad... in John 11 it even says that Jesus wept. If he can cry... even though he knows he can raise Lazarus from the dead... then I certainly can since I have no such power in my life.

And my friend (you know who you are) who is sad for her loss of a loved one..I am sad with you today.

I am sorry people, including me, are so stupid... especially around grief.

I am sorry for when I have also been guilty of commanding people to feel better instead of listening to their pain...

I am sorry for when I have been impatient with the suffering of others just because it didnt go away as quickly as I would have liked...

The Little boy and his seeds... (a story from Mark 4:1-20)

The once was a boy who had a secret. He collected seeds. He would find them everywhere and he thought they were great. He liked big ones and small ones. He had an incredible system for categorizing them and storing them. He even designed special vacuum sealed bags that would keep his collection from harm and the elements. Now it came to be that the village that the boy lived in suffered a severe food shortage, and even though there was plenty of space in his garden … the boy could not bring himself to part with his precious seeds. He loved his collection. Around him he watched as his neighbors grew gaunt and pale. Children lost the color in their cheeks. Even the true hunger rumblings in his own belly could not bring him to allow his seeds to leave their shelves and find their destiny in the soil. A tragedy, both personally and for his village, the young boy died of starvation... all the while having seed enough for a great harvest.

If the seed is the truth from the word of God... does knowing it really do anything...

...or do I have to plant it deep in my heart and let it grow up in my life through faith?

Truth is awesome... but it needs to be planted in good soil to meet its destiny!

Why I work with middle school students...

Many people have asked me with pity how I survive working with hundreds of middle school students... the truth is, it is easy most of the time, because I love them and it is a joy to be part of their lives at such a critical time.

Also, a middle school students really believes that the world is unlimited... they are not jaded and cynical... tell them they can change the world... and they do. This month I am learning lots from the passion of students...

Somehow the honda just doesnt seem to do it for me any more...

Bugatti Veyron at top speed
Uploaded by Flabber

Ok... this is pretty much a dream car... I am glad I cannot afford it... I would be dead in a few days if I did.

Here are some new IZzy shots... and random gerber daisies that represent a prayer for spring to hurry up!

The Life (five-three)

Hey... for the next month I am mainly writing at a new blog that is for a series I am doing with my Middle School students. Feel free to check it out.

The series is called "The Life" and it is about Jesus life and ours. As part of it, we challenged everyone in our ministry to do the "five-three challenge."

This is a committment to spend 5 minutes reading the Bible, 5 minutes talking to God, 5 times a week... thus 3 fives...

It sounds so simple, but I think that many of us have a hard time even committing a few minutes a day to reflecting on the God that we love... Life just seems more important than God... but... if I am really "following" Jesus... I have to shape my life around the time I spend with him. This truth has been convicting to me, and I am trying to really wrestle it down.

If you are a Christian... what does your walk with God look like?


Check it out: the life (five-three)