Wounds heal in time. They fade from pain to memory and though the scars and the memories remain, the hurt fades to shadow, and the journey continues. Most people know that I have lots of physical scars from growing up on the wreckless side... Some know that I also have many scars from a difficult season recently experienced in the trenches of ministry. For the last few years, I feel like my wounds and scars have been the overwhelming and defining aspect of my life. I would often try to describe my life without mention of what I was feeling. (People don't want to hear about hard things that last more than a few hours. Most people are initially empathetic, but quickly become tired of the struggles of another. I understand their tired response as I would have fled myself if a road had emerged.)
I would try to think of something positive to say about my experience so they would not have to think of an excuse to not listen to my sad story again. Try as I did, I usually either said very little, or eventually would begin to talk about my struggles. (Thanks for those who truly listened!) Finally there came a critical point where I just decided that I had had enough, and so I walked away from the largest source of pain in my life. This alone was like and incredible revelation... I had felt stuck, but I realized that I wasn't. Remaining in the trap was my own choosing, and I didnt have to stay and keep hurting, I could choose to surround myself with different circumstances.
So I did.
